Mama Series: I Chose Yoga and Yoga Chose Me

Remember Eat, Pray, Love? You know, the story about an author who decided that she would travel to Italy, India, and Indonesia to find balance and meaning in her life. As someone as indecisive as me about the elements of my life, this was the light bulb.  The almighty answer to my dilemma.

So I conspired a plan to go eat, pray, and love through my own life. (I can’t be the only one here…or can I?). But, then I got married and then I got pregnant (surprise!). Three years flew by and now I am 30-something. A wife. A mother of a toddler. My quest for balance ended before it even started.

As a new mom, I only had eyes for my baby. I like to refer to this as “baby blinders”. It’s beautiful, it really is. I mean, my world was an Elizabeth Mitchell soundtrack. But, I realized I stopped thinking about my life. My self. 

And oh the exhaustion!

Being a new mom is exhausting. I know I’m preaching to the choir here, mamas. But, the kicker is I still crave alone time so I find myself staying awake for hours after bedtime just to waste time online or in front of the TV. This was my “me” time.

I realize I am watching other people live their lives. Why am I doing this?! It is, in fact, weaning the energy that I desperately need for the next day.

It is affecting the type of parent and wife that I want to be. I want my family to live in peace. I want to establish and maintain a balanced, happy household. I want to be the gentle and positive parent that I envisioned myself as. 

I want everything yoga is.

Before entering Green Locus Yoga, it had been 2 years since I stepped foot in a yoga studio. When I did attend a class it was strictly to add some variety to my fitness routine.  

Honestly, yoga stressed me out!

I mean, I can barely touch my toes most days. I have NEVER been flexible. And this is what yoga was all about…becoming flexible. Right?  So I forced myself into these awkward poses, the whole time glancing out my peripheral to see if anyone was watching my clumsiness. I would wonder how 5 more deep breaths = 5 more minutes of some hellacious pose that, obviously, some kind of sadist thought up.

And then one day, I panicked. 

My family had a hell of a year.  We had a few struggles, including losing my grandmother and brother-in-law. I was also dealing with the guilt of leaving my daughter to return to work among other things.

On that particular day, stress got the best of me. I felt that I was failing as a mother and a wife.  Never have I ever experienced anything that I would categorize as a panic attack until then. It was an awful, suffocating experience. In tears, I left work and escaped to a nearby park. 

Peace was calling. Later that day I went to the library and checked out a yoga DVD that gave me an introduction to Ashtanga yoga. The experience was such a blur I don’t even remember why I decided to choose yoga.

I did it at home the next day. And…it felt good. I started reading about yoga. Realizing that, well, I had been doing it completely wrong and there was so much more than the fitness aspect.  I actually felt what it was to breathe and be present. I felt new energy.  I desperately need that energy. 

So in walks Green Locus Yoga. I feel like Melissa called to me through a Facebook post asking for an assistant for kid’s events at the studio. It was that moment that I realized my need for further instruction so that I can learn how to sprinkle yoga all over my life. I am convinced that it is the answer to cultivating a rhythm to our hectic world.

I’m making the commitment to turn yoga into a hobby into a lifestyle. These lifestyle changes have never been easy for me, but it is time. For the love of myself and my family. 

 


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About Kerri Ali

Kerri used yoga as a supplement to her fitness routine for the past few years. It wasn’t until she became a mother that she realized that yoga was much more than that and had the potential to change attitudes and lives. She also really believes in the connection between mind and body, so it feels great for her to introduce yoga as a tool during labor. During her spare time, she enjoys reading, outside activities with her husband and friends, playing with her young child, and everything birth related.


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